Memories - school days of yesteryear

Did some reorganizing and stuff lately, during which I came across some old school day stuff and had to laugh. I found actually poems I had written in Jr & Sr High school which did bring a smile to my face remembering those days. The innocence, the ideas then, the dreams, they were the good times. Especially since I typed them out on an old typewriter (do those still exist??? ha ha ha) So here are some of them don't worry if you laugh, because I sure did, ahhh the teenage years??

A Friend

A friend is someone special
like a jewel
very precious and rare
and sometimes hard to find
But they are worth their weight in gold

A true friend is never a leaf on a tree
although they may change color
They'll never fall in autumn

Always remember you need
friends as much as they need you
So come and be my friend
Be like a jewel to me
But never be an autumn leaf
never fall away from me.


Daydreamer

Daydreamer....
What are you thinking of?
Why do you try to escape this world
into one of fantasy?

Daydreamer....
Where do you go?
Why are you so happy?
Is it because you can escape this world
into one of fantasy?
Or is it because your dreams are great?

Daydreamer....
Why can't I follow you into your world
of dreams and fantasies?
Why are you secluded and away
from all your friends?

Oh Daydreamer....
Can I come along with you
to forget all my problems and start
all over again?

Daydreamer....
I now know why you daydream
Please may I follow you.....
Daydreamer???


Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder
about the times of old
what they were really like

Sometimes I wonder
what I would have been
maybe a wench or a lady?

Sometimes I wonder
if I'm ever going
to meet my prince

Sometimes I wonder
how different things would be
if all dreams came true

Sometimes I wonder.....

How

How do you know where you are going in life when you are not even sure of yourself? There is so many different ways that you can take and sometimes it can be very confusing. You want to make sure you are taking the right way but as you walk down that path you are still unsure if you. You want to believe you are and that you have made the right decision but if it is taking you away from everything that you are sure of before, then you are going to keep asking yourself the question. Which gives you more doubts not only in yourself but in your relationships with as well, your ideals, you beliefs, your goals, your dreams, and other things you may not have thought of at the time you took this path. But you do have to have a belief in your heart not necessarily your mind that you have made the right decision, that you are on this path for a specific reason, that it will make you better in the long run, that it is what you need in your life right now. There can be more curves and dips and hills to climb as you take that path but is it already making a difference in your life is what you have to look at because it can be. You might not realize it at the time, but others can see it before you can. They can see that you are making important decisions in your life for the better not for the worse even though it might seem like it is worse right now and not better. This path can be taking you away from what you thought you knew, what you thought was right, and what you didn’t realize was an issue until it was too late. This path can be so hard on you that you feel like pulling out your hair because nothing seems to be going right at the moment, everything seems to be against you, and it doesn’t seem fair at all. But you have to trust in yourself and trust in God that you are on the right path. That you are on the path He wants you on because he is leading you down it. That He is there to pick you up, carry you if He has to, wipe away your tears, listen when you talk or write, and know that you are becoming a better person for it. A better person for yourself, because often we do put others before we put ourselves, forgetting that we need to be confident, determined, loving, warm, affectionate, believing, and everything else that is important as we help those others who need us. By sometimes putting them first we are discarding ourselves, forgetting ourselves, diminishing ourselves when we have no need to. We can only go so far before we realize that while we are helping others, we need help ourselves, we need to help ourself. We need to give ourselves love, affection, confidence, and everything else we have shown to others. In forgetting ourselves we have forgotten who we are and sometimes we need to be reminded of that. I am you, you are me, together we are one.

Back to school

Did your place shake today almost like there was an earthquake? It wasn’t an earthquake it was the kids going back to school and the parents shouting, clapping, stomping their feet with joy. It just wasn’t in this county, but several around the nation and it will be like that within the next few weeks as the rest of the kids go back to school as well. Of course not every parent is happy that their children are going to school, but many are. Many parents have also broken out the box of Kleenex as their little girl or boy is heading off to kindergarten for the first time or even middle or high school. I have to say it was very hard watching our oldest child get on the bus and go off to middle school. It doesn’t seem that long ago that he was off to his first day of kindergarten but I guess it has been I just haven’t realized it. Unfortunately being married to someone in the military means that not both parents were there and it has happened again. Just like he missed both kids first day of kindergarten, their dad missed the first day of middle school. That is the price you pay but it is a hard price to handle sometimes. Missing the first steps, the first words, the first ER visit, the first sports game, first day of school, and the list continues. Sometimes they are home and they still miss it anyway and sometimes even a person not in the military misses those days as well because there is lots of jobs out there that require travel. Time and work doesn’t make it any easier, it is hard on everyone but you can’t let it slow you down, you have to put on the brave face, take a deep breathe and just go on with the day.

Back on subject, kids at school, parent celebration? What to do? Go out to a movie? Lunch? a drink? How about all three? Sure that is an option but not an option for me today. Yup back to the old grindstone myself...cleaning, waiting on the paperwork to move, laundry, planning dinner for the week, the grocery list, check your emails, do the blog, and watch movie on from the 80s which makes you laugh when you see that some of the clothes, hairstyles and talk is back in style now 20 years later. I wonder if they will ever be out of style because it seems to me that things from the 80s keep coming back, the music, the movies, the TV shows, the clothes, more than any other decade I can remember. I wonder what our parents did then when we went to school? They probably celebrated too and they would be cleaning, doing laundry, having lunch with some of the ladies, doing the grocery shopping, figuring out dinner for the week, ironing, but definitely not watching all the shows that are now available on TV and checking their email. My how times have changed, I wonder then what our kids will be doing 20 or so years from now when their kids are going to school? Internet and emails might be obsolete by then.

But why?

But why is this happening?
I do not know
It seems to be worse
which I didn't think it would.
I know there are bad days and bad times
Oh but I want to change that if only I could.

But why is this happening?
I do not know
You try to get over it
and put on a good face
Move on with your day, your life
Setting goals, working at a new pace.

But why is this happening?
I do not know.
These words seem to echo
in my head and my heart
It is not something I really want
because it is truly tearing me apart.

But why this is happening?
I do not know.
My words now are flowing more
than they have in a long time
which is many ways is helping me
because they are making me think & rhyme

But why this is happening?
I do not know
one thing I do know
that will stop me from feeling blue
the good times and days are coming again
that much I know is true.

But why is this still happening?
I do not know.

Online Forum/Group Friends

Do you belong to one? Specifically military ones? Some have come and gone, others have gone through changes and reconstruction, while others have just stayed the same. All in all I have belonged to a lot over the years, I started out with Yahoo groups but even those have gone by the wayside, now it seems that forums are the place to be and get information. You can gain a lot of information and make friends through these places, but you can also lose friends and make enemies. Yes some are gossip sessions and a fight might start between a few posters, but others while have their ups and downs are the best place to be. You can gain so much information from them from PCSing itself, to pay matters, to an actual base/post/city, to the latest news, branch specific questions and everything in between. There is several online forums that are major and have large groups of people on them, mainly spouses in a few and Active, Reservist or Retirees in others. They have grown and fallen and then rebuilt again. But the information you can get has never stopped it is still there.

You can make friends through this groups and forums as well. Some you already have met and it grows from there; others you will meet at one place or another; while others you will be nothing more than online friends and never get the chance to really know each other. I have friends in all 3 categories. I have become reacquainted with girls & guys I knew before and had the chance to meet again. Other ones I have gotten the opportunity to meet and become even better friends with, friends we will be for life. The final ones I have known for years but never have and probably never will meet them. But that doesn’t change the way we feel about each other and what we mean to each other. We are part of a group, a special group that is there for each other no matter what, through thick and thin, good times and bad, a shoulder to cry on when something happens and a person to applaud when an accomplishment is made. These friends have helped me a lot over the years and I have helped them I hope. Sometimes it can just take that little bit of encouragement to help you or them feel better, the right thing to say, the necessary information, just an online expression like a happy face or a joke to make you laugh.

These friends can be in your life for a short time and other times they can be in there for long time even for life. They can be younger or older than you. They can be closer to you than your own family even tough they have no blood or marriage relation to you at all.

They are part of a sisterhood, your sisters.

Writing

Letter writing where has it gone? It seems these days most communications are done through the phone or online through emails. The days of actually sitting down and writing something out to stick in the mail is long gone. Even the Post Office is having issues these days where it is costing more money and they are looking at cutting back. I remember writing so many letters to my then boyfriend, then fiancé and finally husband when we were apart and it helped me as much as it helped him I think. There you could seem to let your feelings go with you as you wrote. Sometimes those letters never made it but many times they did and in some ways it made you feel closer to each other. I have actually sat down recently and written a letter or two and afterwards I felt so much better. Yes typing on the computer can work pretty good sometimes but using the pen on a piece of paper can give you another sense of completion, it feels like it is more personal, it can take a little longer but it just feels good. In the past few weeks I have made some changes in my life and I can say that writing this blog and writing letters has helped me to remember who I actually am as a person. I wonder if that is something else that has gone missing with the lack of letters between people. It doesn’t necessarily even have to be a letter it could just be a card and even those these days have gone to being emailed to you instead of getting it in person. Postcards as well, I remember feeling so special when I got one in the mail from a family member or friend and the same with the kids. Just that picture of something, the few notes on the back and the fact that it was mailed to you personally makes you feel special. Is that is something this technological society is taking away from us? Do we need to go back old school beyond the TV shows being turned into movies, the songs being redone, some of the clothes or hairstyles coming back in style? Do we instead need to bring back the writing of a letter or note to a spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling or even a friend? What about sending a quick card? What about writing a thank you note for something that you have received. Getting something in the mail seems to make your day, especially if you are having a bad day or seem to get only bills or flyers nothing actually personal. You know a thought came to mind about the mention of postcards there is one other thing that you can do with it and can happen. That is put it on the fridge and if it is a place you have been to then it brings back memories or if you haven’t been then it can give you an idea of where to go next. I found some postcards the other day from friends in various locations that had been done through an online group I belonged to. They were from all over the place and seeing that reminded me of those friends and how they had helped me and I had helped them during the years we have known each other, but many had or never will meet in person. So what I am saying is how about writing again? I am making a promise to myself to do it, sending postcards or cards to family members & friends. Writing more letters to special people. Doing something to help myself but to hopefully help them as well. Make their day special, make them feel important, make them have good memories and anything else that happens.

Life and medical

In April of this year, I celebrated an anniversary by myself, it wasn’t a wedding anniversary, or a first date anniversary or anything like that. It was 20th anniversary of life. When I was 20 years old, I had a cerebral aneurysm, a stroke and nearly died. It isn’t something I really talk about to many people, not everyone knows, I tend to keep it that way.

But back to the beginning, I had been getting headaches for awhile, especially when playing soccer, one game I took about 8 extra strength Tylenol (played goalie) and nothing worked. A few days later I went to practice and the headache was so bad I threw up numerous times, went home and then mom took me to ER. I was told I had pulled a muscle, given a neck brace, Tylenol with codeine and sent home. Nothing else was done, a few days later I felt fine, took it easy and then played the last soccer game of the season. About 2 weeks later I was out one night with a friend, said to her something along the lines of I don’t feel so well and then collapsed having a seizure. She yelled out for help and was just ignored by all because I guess they thought I was drunk. A young kid helped and told her to go call 911 (cell phones weren’t around then), luckily the ambulance that arrived had EMTs that knew what had happened and took me immediately to the hospital and told the staff there. They handled it well apparently and immediately called for the neuro staff. The main neurosurgeon wasn’t there but out of town doing work in a small town. So they waited before operating for the swelling to go down. It did and I came out of the surgery alright, the surgeon was one of the best in Canada. I laugh when I heard the story later that while I was in ICU they had to strap me down because I would pull the gloves off my hands with my teeth and pull out my IV according to a nurse there (I hated needles then now they don’t phase me) when she finally saw me do it before that they had no idea how it happened. I spent around 3 weeks in the hospital in total which was a miracle in itself, but they figured it was because I was young, in good shape and lots of prayers from around the world. I had minimum recovery time as well, I had to do physiotherapy for awhile but it was speech therapy that took the longest. I knew that when it was pointed out it was a button but said bread instead. In the end it wasn’t my speech therapist that helped me it was playing word games like Boggle and Scrabble that did. I was lucky to still have a job to go back to and lots of support from family and friends.

Why am I talking about this it is I think because of what I see in the US when it comes to medical. While this happened in Canada and I do have problems I have to live with the rest of my life (lost partial sight in my left eye and trust me they love me for using as an example when it comes to going to specialists I am usually their only case, so I become the patient all the interns see) it is something I deal with. I could have sued the hospital because of misdiagnosis and been set for life. We were often asked why we didn’t. My response was because I know that doctors are human. They are not perfect, they make mistakes, and sometimes it is that mistake that helps them learn. My mother is a nurse and so are several friends and even then didn’t think it was that because it showed signs of other things. My own personal doctor was heartbroken that she didn’t see it herself. Suing the doctor and hospital wouldn’t have accomplished anything, instead what was needed was received instead, an apology. They admitted they were wrong and now could do a better diagnosis of other patients and maybe run more tests if necessary.

So you really have to look at the big picture is suing them worth it? What will be the repercussions in the end? Because often the money that they pay you could instead been used somewhere else. It could have been used to make sure that problem doesn’t happen to anyone else. It could be used to help keep the cost of medical/hospitalization down. Why do you think the costs of medical have risen so much in the US? It is because the doctors and hospitals need to recoup some of that money. They can’t run every test on you and they can’t give always you a correct diagnosis of something that could be 20 different things in the end. But they can make sure that the options are open to you, maybe give you a second or third test because it is lower in cost, and who knows what else. I am not saying that every lawsuit should be stopped, but what I am saying is that sometimes is it really necessary? Sure it might have been preventable but how much did it really damage you as a person? Our society has become so money hungry that often the true purpose is forgotten, life as it is. Is all that money really necessary to have in your pocket? Is it really going to help you get where you want to get? Or is it going to be paid out in huge lawyer fees and medical costs that weren’t there before? Having a bigger house or a fancy car? Having relatives you didn’t know you had come out of the wood work? You honestly have to look and decide what is better for you as a person, sometimes you just have to let it go and move on. Letting that be in the past and move on towards a better future not just for yourself, but for others as well.

Today

Didn't realize that I hadn't written here all weekend until I came to post this. I guess the idea I would write every day didn't work out, but maybe for the better. I did for the first time in a very long time sit down and write. Afterwards I did feel better, confused, frustrated, and every other emotion but better.


Words used to come so freely
As I would write them all down
Some would rhyme and some would not
It didn’t matter how or what

Words escape me at the moment
The ones I used to write on a page
So many things have happened in my life
I forgot who I was inside and out

Where did all of that go?
The imagination, the fantasy, the love
The hurt, the tears, the smiles, the triumphs
They have seemed to have disappeared to nowhere

I think I might have found them again
But I cannot be sure
I still feel like something is missing though
I am just not sure what

So many questions that needed to be asked
And others that need to be answered
It is so hard to ask or answer them
Without tears forming in my eyes

Who am I and where did I go
What am else am I feeling
Hurt, sadness, happiness, love
I just don’t know anymore
Does any of this make sense.

How can you lose who you are
But no one you know is aware
Or are they is the question
Do they see it as well

Just so many questions
And not enough answers
At least at this moment
The only thing left is patience
For God to answer in his time

TV Shows of Today vs Yesterday

Growing up we had a basic TV, 12 channels if we were lucky and you had to get up to turn the dial. These days it is several hundred channels and you never leave the couch. TV Shows were things like Hawaii 5-0, Dallas, Marcus Welby, Trapper John MD, Dukes of Hazard, the Brady Bunch, The Love Boat, Little House on the Prairie, CHiPs, The Cosby Show, Different Strokes to name a few. These days medical & cop shows are still there but they have turned into more of a soap opera it is major drama with usually kissing, harsh words and even sex involved. The TV show spins offs. I mean look at CSI has gone from 1 to 3; NCIS is now 2; Law & Order has gone on to I don’t know how many. Then there is the Reality shows like Survivor, Amazing Race, Bachelor, American Idol. Plus on cable you have the kids shows like Suite Life on Deck, iCarly, Spongebob, and others.

Sitting here watching the TV with the kids, I have realized that there isn’t really many shows for families to watch together like in the past. The Cosby Show was a good one, yes not many families are as wealthy as they were or lived in a house that looked small but apparently went on forever. They had good times and bad times, family problems that often could be solved by the end of the night but not always and other things as well. But you could sit all ages and laugh together and then talk about it. Some of the lines that Bill Cosby used I have to admit I used myself at one time or another. These days the shows are not family oriented at all, especially the comedies they are more adult core. There is only two shows that we can watch together, Amazing Race and Survivor. The cop shows are not at all like CHiPs or Hawaii 5-0 (although they are apparently bringing back the last one to TV this season who knows how it will go). Even some kid shows are not appropriate for kids of certain ages. There is a gap for shows that young girls between the ages of 7 and 12 for example it goes from things like Dora the Explorer and Wiggles to Hannah Montana but where is a decent show for them? There isn’t one at all that I could find at all. I don’t mind Hannah Montana but that is more focus on teenagers not their age. Even Sonny with a Chance, iCarly are not the best shows for girls but the only option sometimes. The cartoons aren’t the greatest either, we have gone beyond the Smurfs, Road Runner, Flintsones, Jetsons, Bugs Bunny… The Spongebob, Simpsons are not ones I want my kids watching what about you?


They have even taken some of those old shows one step farther and turned them into movies some were alright and others are well were total failures. I can think of one failure off the top of my head, Dukes of Hazard, I’m sorry but Daisy Duke was not a blonde and definitely needed a fat Boss Hogg not a skinny one. Then there was Mission Impossible, The Mod Squad, The Avengers, Flinstones, Scooby Doo, and the list can keep going on. Star Trek was a hit though because they kept the same characters from the movies and even the same actors/actresses in the original ones which made it seem better and added more ties into the series in the end. Sometimes they would add in some of the cast from the series to the movie which was an attempt to make it better but not always.

Wonder if they will in the end actually listen and go back to the ways of the past that they obviously liked otherwise they wouldn’t have so many movies out of the TV Shows they liked then, bringing back good family oriented TV Shows.

Outside the US

Have you done that in your life? Even for a vacation? Many have not gone beyond their state lines, let alone another country. Being born and raised in Canada I had visited the US multiple times growing up but didn’t move there until I was married in 1996. Even then it was Hawaii which has to be the most unique state in the US. Yes Hawaii is a state, often a misconception of many Americans, thinking that it isn’t, you need a passport to travel there from the mainland and even the occasional question of can I drive there. Yup I have been asked if you can actually drive to Hawaii. But I have been beyond those tropical islands and I know how lucky I have been.

My mother was born and raised in Australia and moved to Canada where she met my father and stayed, leaving her mother, brothers and sisters behind. But we still were able to visit them and travel Australia with some stops along the way. I had the privelege of going there three times growing up, the age of 2, age of 7 and the age of 12. Was able to climb Ayer’s Rock before it was given back to the people and its original name of Uluru; visited a station or two; went to an Opera at the Sydney Opera house; visited to Taronga Zoo; swam up the coast and back again and did other things as well. My favorite memory is a toss up though but I would have to say seeing The Man From Snowy River, it is a classic and way better to view on a big screen or in the theater. One time we went to Fiji for 7 days and that was incredible, I was 7 years old and still can remember several things like they happened yesterday. Went to Hawaii another time on the way back when I was 12, that was interesting and the hotel is still there or at least it was several years ago. In Canada I went to the Calgary Stampede and twice went to Nova Scotia, once to Prince Edward Island and saw Anne of Green Gables.

With the Navy sometimes you can get a chance of a lifetime and that is orders overseas, we were lucky and got it, Singapore for 2 years. A small country in South East Asia that is absolutely incredible. The people, the food, the lifestyle, the technology, the way of life. Singapore is a country that as I called it a liberal dictatorship. It is hard run with good old fashioned rules but yet they are a country that accepts all religions, low crime, harsh punishment if you do a crime, so a safe country. We celebrated Ramadan, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, and many others. It was incredible to see Christmas celebrated there, big signs in windows that stated “For Unto Us a Child is Born”, here it is in a country more of Buddhists and Muslims but yet still allow the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Which can’t happen that way in the US or in Canada. Sometimes we would laugh because it reminded us of Hawaii, everyone called Aunty or Uncle, respecting the elders, good transportation system and incredible mixture of food. No pointing with the finger, instead you use your thumb. Delivery of McDonald’s to your door, the list could continue on forever.

We also had the chance to do some more traveling while there. I went up to Japan and was able to see Tokyo one weekend but it wasn’t enough and I would love to go back. Spent a few days with some girlfriends in Phuket, Thailand that was so relaxing and beautiful. Went to just over the bridge to Malaysia and did some quick shopping. Then managed a weekend in Bintan, Indonesia with family friends. But the biggest trip was taking the kids to Australia, we stopped in Perth on the the way to Sydney and then on to Brisbane back to Perth before heading back to Singapore. Perth we spent a day and visiting lots of attractions, walking around town and driving. We actually even saw a memorial for those who were lost in the wars over the years, one part was a Torpedo from the US Submarine Veteran’s Association which surprised us but yet didn’t. Not sure if it was fortunate or not fortunate but in Sydney it was the time of the Youth Group meetings of the world with a visit from the Pope and it was freezing cold while we were there. Got to take the kids to see the Opera House, go to Bondi beach, see the jail in the middle of the Harbor as well as the Bridge, took them to Taronga Zoo, walked around all over downtown Sydney and met up with some family I hadn’t seen in over 26 years, it was wonderful. The kids got to meet cousins as well which was wonderful. After a busy time in Sydney it was off to Brisbane we went and saw some more family. But we ended up leaving the hustle and bustle and going out to North Stradbroke Island and staying in a trailer for several days. It was so relaxing and calming, the picture you see of what looks like a sunset was actually there in the middle of the day. While it was winter it was beautiful weather until the day we left. We saw dolphins, swam in the ocean, went fishing and chilled out. Then we went back to Perth where we spent 2 days with a friend before heading back to Singapore.

Living in another country is one step beyond visiting. When you live there you take the lifestyle from hustle and bustle to relaxing and chilling out. It depends on where you are and what you want to do as well. It is something that you need to do, to experience other cultures and food but to also understand how lucky you can be but yet how behind you can be as well. All those things are memories of the past but still memories and luckily things I can remember. Those can be better in the end than all the presents or toys or electronic things you get. Because they are something that can never go away and always make you smile.

College at 40

There was a time when a degree wasn’t needed it was the experience that counted more for the job market than the schooling or training you had. Then it switched were it was necessary to have a college degree to get a job, it switched again and again. So often today it is hard to keep track of what is necessary. Even if you have schooling sometimes it isn’t enough because it could be from years ago. I tried the job market when I got out of high school over 20 years ago and it didn’t succeed so I looked into several programs. I decided that one in Office Administration was the best option. It wasn’t a proper degree but a certification program including working for one three month term in an Office. It was learning to type on old typewriters, new typewriters, computers; do records management; proper English; and other services you would need to work in an Office. I was one class short of getting that certificate when I got a job so I wasn’t going to go back for just one class, so I worked for almost 7 years all the while gaining more skills and the experience I needed. I stopped working just before our oldest was born. When my husband went to college himself I helped when I could. As I could type over 70 words a minute I did the typing while he stated what he wanted. So in some ways he says his degree is part mine. But I didn’t go to college myself because he wanted to get his degree first and then a second child arrived, we moved and other things came up. Always the excuses as they say and not doing what I should have been doing, but that was partially because I forgot about me and what was best. My husband has been after to me to do it and I finally broke down and did it last January. This time it wasn’t in a class room but online something not offered at all for a long time, but now it seems it is the only way to go for many people. I was lucky to qualify for MyCAA before it was stopped, this gave me the chance to do 2 classes online for a semester with Coastline Community College which is reasonable compared to others. I also enrolled in a local college to take a real estate class in the classroom but it got canceled due to non participation (wonder why? Housing market, Florida right now don’t mix) so it was changed to online as well. Taking Spanish and Humanities of the Arts was interesting and hard. Not so much in reading and doing the homework but concentrating because of so many distractions at home. Like neighbors dropping by, kids with the homework, chores to do around the house, little things. Often I found myself doing it the last minute and submitting it just in the nick of time. Kind of like those who do the homework or study for the test the night before. It took awhile to get out of that habit and unfortunately I still catch myself doing it sometimes. I guess you could say it is a hard habit to break (man why are all these old song lines coming back when I write) So after the 3rd term is almost finished I have done better but still not good enough. World History Before 1500 I was able to actually finish early and luckily got my first A. I still have some work to do for Business but almost there and just the final assignment to hand/email in before writing the final before Sunday.

It was actually the professor for Business that got me really writing again. For an assignment I had to compare a movie to business, my choice was Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd. I have lost count how many times I have seen that movie so I didn’t need to watch it before writing the paper. I submitted it and got an A with the encouragement I needed to keep on doing it. Maybe that is what I needed to hear something from someone outside who had never seen my work before. I am glad I am taking these classes and I am enrolled in one more term before my husband retires so I am no longer eligible for MyCAA. But I will continue taking classes even afterwards, he decided before to transfer some of his GI Bill to me and for that I am eternally grateful because it means he gave up the last part of his education. Yes he has his Bachelor’s but not in the true field he wants right now. So we will work on it. I just wish that I had started earlier but we cant change the past, we can only go to the future. I am not sure where this road is taking me but I do know it will be to a place that I like, that it will have its bumps and dips and potholes and everything else as there is no perfect road. That there will also be twists and turns and even branch offs testing me. But I can do it, if I can start going to college at 40 then anything is possible.

Living in Hawaii

Have you ever seen the term OCONUS and wondered what in the heck that means? It means Outside Contigous/Continental United States. Hawaii and Alaska are considered OCONUS even though they are US States; so is Guam, Puerto Rico, and other US Territories; then there is Japan, Germany, UK, Singapore and anywhere else. The chance to go OCONUS during a military career is a great opportunity for you. We haven’t had the chance once but several times. In fact my husband was already stationed in Hawaii when we met so when we got married I moved there and we were there 3 ½ years before PCSing to Washington State. We actually had an opportunity to go back to Hawaii again 4 ½ years later and it was a chance we took, to bad it was only for 18 months.

Hawaii what a place to live in, great food, great people, great beaches, pretty much great everything if you know what to do. Common questions are asked so here is some Q&A for you

Q - Isn’t Hawaii expensive for groceries?
A – Yes it can be but not if you know where to go. If you are there with the military then using the Commissaries and Exchanges is the best thing. But you can also use the chain stores if you have the shopping card for the deals and there is also Sam’s Club & Costco. Pearl Harbor has the biggest commissary there but bigger isn’t always cheaper. It can be cheaper at Hickam or Kaneohe Bay or Schofield depending on the products you are looking for. Sometimes it is cheaper at Sams or Costco and other times the major grocery stores. Read the ads and do comparison shopping.

Q – What about eating out is that going to be a lot of money?
A – Yes it can be there as well but again you need to know where to look. We would eat out quite frequently but often it was under $25 for a family of 4. Of course now the kids are older it would cost more but not that much more. We would go to the small ma & pa owned restaurants. One we always recommend is Young’s Ramen in Salt Lake Shopping Mall by Radio Shack. Their food was awesome and cheap. We would also do plate lunches at Yummy’s Korean BBQ or went to Ann Miller’s. Plus we did a comparison between Washington State and Hawaii and you know what it was actually cheaper at McD’s in Hawaii than in Washington State. Along with some other places we ate out either cheaper or around the same price give or take a few cents. The reason, the sales tax in Hawaii is over ½ of that in other states. Just look for small places, try new things and you can get easily wowed over with the choices you have. Our kids eat more Asian food than they do American food.

Q – Don’t locals hate outsides/haoles?
A - Haole doesn’t mean just white person it means any foreigners. And to be honest after what some of the foreigners did to the locals I wouldn’t be happy either, but that was many generations ago. Yes you can have some problems with locals, but you can have that in any location. They don’t hate you, they can though hate your attitude. If you go there with a chip on your shoulder, always checking your back, being disrespectful and everything else then you are going to have problems. When we first got married we lived way out of town in Kunia but I worked in downtown Honolulu, so every work day I would take the bus. I was the only haole on the bus and never had an issue. In fact I made some great friends on that bus. We also went to the small local beaches and never had issues there either.

Q – what about the schools for kids aren’t they horrible?
A – that depends on you as a parent. The schools the military kids go to have more funding than other schools because of the DoD putting money in there. But you also have to be involved in the education of your child to and can’t leave it just to the teachers. Yes there is some bad schools but that too happens in any state, there is other school districts that are just as bad but not a comparison to them. If you make sure you are getting the right information, talk to the teacher, help your kids, then they can be successful. There is always going to be ups and downs in any school. Our kids went to a top school in one state that I found was horrible and they didn’t like it. Our daughter was actually behind when she went to our next school and had a lot of ground to catch up on.

Q – what else can you tell me
A – Hawaii is a place you either love or hate. I know people who have hated it while they were then but as soon as they left they realized how great it was and wanted to go back. Others loved it and never had issues. Yes it is hard being so far away from family & friends and getting there to visit is expensive. But it is what you make it. You have local friends and military friends and all become part of your family. Calling you Auntie and Uncle shows you that. People are respectful to each other. There is great food to eat, beaches to go to, things to see and people to meet.

We have ties there that will be forever that is something I know. To us Hawaii is and always will be home.

Homecoming

Someone once asked me what was the thing I was looking forward to the most when my husband came home from deployment. My response “Going to the bathroom in peace” yup you heard it right, it wasn’t looking forward to having him in my arms again, snuggling up to him at night, knowing he is there, and so forth. It was being able to go to the bathroom and not have them beating on the door and yelling: “Mom, can I go to so and so’s house?” “Mom, she/he is bugging/hitting me,” “Mom can I watch TV?” “Mom I’m hungry” and the list continues. I wanted just once to go in that room, shut the door and not worry about anyone bothering me. Because I swore on God’s green earth as soon as that door is shut they know it and immediately everything is happening then, it doesn’t happen 5 or 10 minutes before or 15 minutes afterwards it is then, right then. Of course you would think as the kids got older and he was gone they would have learned their lesson, but nope, to haven’t because it still happens even today with one being almost 12 and the other 8.

Okay I’ll admit it, I was looking forward to everything else, the hugs, kisses, cuddles, being next to me, allowing him to have the remote control, driving the vehicle and everything else. I even didn’t mind that his clothes stunk to high heaven (by the way if you have that problem, a few drops of regular dish detergent works in getting the smell out).

That is also the hardest part sharing things again that you have had all your own. Realizing you are not both the father and mother anymore, you are no longer sleeping alone in the bed (although that was already normal for me because the kids took up most of the bed when they joined me and I was there on my side with no room to move. This happened even after I moved them back to their rooms, they managed to find their way back to our bed), buying more groceries, more meal planning, changing the way things were done, and some others.

It isn’t an easy adjustment for him/her either. It isn’t just during homecoming but during R&R as well. Often you can plan all these things you want to do while he/she is home from seeing sights to visiting family but they don’t want to do that at all. Often they want to sit, watch TV, relax and take it easy for at least a few days. They have to adjust to not being awake 18 hours a day, watch necessarily where they are going or what they are doing constantly, as well as others. Which is something that we forget and then get mad at them for not doing what we want them to. What you have to remember is that you love each other and going back to the way things were before isn’t always possible. You have both grown in different ways and have different ideas, what you can do is meet in the middle, halfway. But that does take time, so be patient, loving and understanding and it will get better.

Food size in the US vs Overseas

August 7th, 2010

Food size in the US vs Overseas

Have you noticed how more people in the US are now overweight? It isn’t just adults but children too and it has become a concern of many. I have to admit that I was never skinny growing up but I wasn’t overweight, I was normal. But now after over 14 years of marriage and 2 kids I could be smaller, about 30 pounds smaller, maybe even 40 if I wanted to get back to the weight I was when we got married. I didn’t gain that much weight when I was pregnant I had in fact gained it before I was. It was the convenience of fast food down the street when at home, the constant snacks while eating, pizza, Mrs Fields Cookies, take out from a small restaurant and other things instead of eating better.

But it was also other things and something that has been growing as well in the US which has caused our weight size to grow, the size of plates, cups, bowls, in other words the size of servings. Plates are now at least 12 inches in diameter or larger instead of 10 inches. When you eat pasta at many restaurants it isn’t a standard serving size it is enough for two because it is a plate bowl. The smallest Chicken McNugget meal you can get at McDonalds for an adult is 10 pieces, with medium fries and a drink. So even the drinks are larger, a cup of coffee is no longer a cup of 8 ozs but over double in size. A bottle of soda/pop is now 20 ozs instead of the size of a can which is around 12 ozs. All these things add up and add to our waist. So the question is can you stop when you are full or is that nagging from mom of “Clean your plate, do you know how many starving people there are in Africa/India/China” still in your head? Often it is the later and we feel forced to eat everything on our plate or in our meal. Instead of just saying no and walking away.

The convenience of fast food isn’t just in the US it is also overseas. Most countries have McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks and every other fast food/name brand product. Let me give you an example of what is done in some places. In Singapore they believe in hard work and often it is easier and cheaper to get take out on the way home, especially if when manual labor often means 12 hours shifts 5 and even 6 days a week. So McDonalds delivers to your house, yup you heard it right you can order online or over the phone and within 30 to 45 minutes McDonald’s will be at your door. But isn’t something that should be offered in the US and you want to know why? Two words and can you imagine what they are??? SERVING SIZE!! The largest meal that you can order when it comes to Chicken McNuggets is 6 pieces, yup just 6 pieces. The large serving of fries is the US medium and the same with the drink. So they are able to offer it to you but smaller and a better amount to eat. But it isn’t just in Fast Food it is in the size of products you buy overseas. Chickens there is 1/2 the size of what it is in the US. It would take 2 or even 3 pieces of chicken breast in Singapore to equal one in the US. It isn't just in Singapore it is in other areas that I have gone to.

What does that mean are in our products? Are those helping us to become overweight too? Why are we forcing ourselves to eat so much more when there isn’t a need because what it is doing to our bodies? I am so concerned with what this is telling our children and what they are eating and doing. It isn’t just eating but the lack of exercise & playing, instead many are spending time in front the TV watching it or playing video games or online. Yes it is a serious problem in the US and some other countries, and there is varying statistics for how many adults are overweight but it is way more than it was in the 80s and even the 90s. Children are a concern as well because they are heading that way as well. Look at the movie Wall-E because that could be where we are heading. Is that something we really want to be? As I stated I am not the slender person I was before and I have gone up and down over the years never getting back to before. But I am working on it and making sure the kids are as well. Better meals, smaller portions, fast food occasionally but not constantly and never tell the kids “Do you know how many starving people there are in ?????

Customer service and where has it gone?

Do you remember what honest to goodness Customer Service is? When was the last time you had it? When was someone polite to you, saying good morning/afternoon/evening/day, having a smile on their face or in their voice, trying to make you feel special in that store? It isn’t seen much anymore if at all. Yes sometimes you can get it and some companies do have it as a standard where you are greeted with “Welcome to So and So” when you walk in the door but the enthusiasm isn’t there. I was having a really bad day the other day and had to call AT&T and was greeted with the nicest, politest, sweet sounding voice that I had heard in so long. I could tell she was smiling and she made me smile just listening to her. When the business was handled I told her so and said Thank You because she had made my day seem so much better. It made me remember an online conversation that was on a forum weeks ago about WalMart and how the customer service of yesterday was gone. Other stores were brought up as well and it was confirmed that Customer Service isn’t around anymore. That maybe a lot of the teenagers & young adults have no idea what customer service is at all. The old rule of the customer is always right is gone as well. Even chivalry is dead, gentleman holding the door open for ladies, young people holding doors open for elders, people saying please, thank you, or excuse me when passing by. Things that we were taught growing up are gone as well, they are not taught to the children of today. It is a shame because what is wrong with it? What is wrong with customer service? Why is our society now so intent on themselves and no one else. You can see it yourself when you are at the stores or other places out and around. You can see it on the news and you can even see it on TV Commercials. Yes I said TV Commercials, these days seem so intent on you a person and money. I was watching the news one night and within 30 minutes I saw 8 lawyer commercials all about going against this and going against that. When did we forget take responsibility for our own actions? When did we forget that sometimes you can’t blame anyone but yourself for what happened? When did we forget to forgive others? When did we forget to not be after the money because most of it would go to the lawyer anyways? That is another topic for talking about. But after getting the service I received at AT&T the other day I decided I needed to remember it myself. I usually do it but sometimes forget, so now I am going to do it all the time. Open the doors for people, saying please, thank you, your welcome, more smiles, more Hakuna Matata, No worries.

Who am I?

Note to self, next time an idea for something happens, write it down. I had this great idea for an article/blog first thing this morning before I had even gotten out of bed. But poof it is gone, probably for good now or at least until 2 am weeks from now when I don’t get a chance to write it down then either because I have something else on my mind.

Oh wait is it coming back to me now? Just like the song from the 90s, It’s All Coming Back to Me Now. It was going to be something about finding myself again by writing. In the past few years I haven’t known really who I am beyond a wife whose husband is in the Navy and a mom of 2, okay well maybe also online moderator of several military forums and then there was the Family Support Group Chairperson, the Spouse Group Secretary, a part time Research Analyst, part time student, helping out at our kids soccer teams including coaching one game, chauffeur, cook, maid, laundress, medic, photographer, lifeguard, furniture mover, decorator, teacher, and the list goes on. Like any normal mother out there especially these days with so many moms working part time or full time and raising a family. Being a mom isn’t a part time job, it is full time, 24/7/365 . A job you don’t get a vacation from unless you have awesome parents, siblings, in laws or friends that take your kids for a few days when your husband is out of town because you need a break. In all of this you can lose yourself, your identity and really wonder if you are a person. You seem to put your spouse first, the kids first, the house first before yourself a lot of the time, forgetting who you are.

I used to write all the time, poems, stories, even letters, but that has been gone for awhile. Recently I found some old ones and I mean old when I was a teenager and I laughed so hard at my imagination, I mean they were hilarious it brought tears to my eyes. But then those tears almost continued as I realized I had forgotten a major part of myself, not just writing but imagination, my thoughts, my ideas, my creativity, and my dreams. They might be silly and ridiculous but they are still a thought using imagination, which is important to any person. Sometimes we get so caught up in things today that we have forgotten who we are, who other people are, where we live and what we can do if we try. Maybe we need to go back to being a kid again, remember how we were as teenagers or young adults where we had goals and dreams. That might make our lives seem a little bit better when we remember who we really are.

I think I found out now who I am. I am an intelligent, beautiful, bubbly, loving, warm, individual who is a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, and a friend. I am me.